Weekends...

[Jason_and_me]

I don’t know if anyone else feels this, but weekends absolutely wreck me. Not because anything bad happens, but because everything stops.

During the week, I’ve got some kind of structure to hang onto; appointments, tasks, admin, responsibilities, all the stuff that forces me to keep moving. It’s not fun, but at least it keeps me going.

When the weekend hits? The whole world goes quiet… and suddenly I’m stuck alone with my own mind.

For people dealing with long-term trauma stuff like dissociation, flashbacks, internal conflict, loneliness, or just feeling unsafe inside your own skin, weekends aren’t “rest.” They’re a void. They’re too silent, too empty, too unstructured.

The stuff that doesn’t stop on weekends:

• the pain

• the trauma reactions

• the internal noise

• the stress

• the emotional hangover from the week

The stuff that does stop on weekends:

• clinics

• therapists

• support lines with decent waiting times

• admin pathways

• any sense of external structure

It leaves you sitting there with nothing but your brain, your body, and your symptoms. And honestly? That’s when things get the hardest. During the week, I’m fighting systems, tasks, and responsibilities. On the weekend, I end up fighting myself.
And I can’t fight myself and the rest of the world at the same time.

Just wanted to put this out there in case someone else struggles with weekends too. 

If anyone has ways they cope with weekends better, I’d actually love to hear them.

[tyme]

You don’t say! @Jason_and_me I totally get that. I remember all my hospital emergencies were during weekends because as you said, everything stops. Over time, what helped me what to plan things on weekends so I continued to have a rigid routine. Even till today, routine is so important for me and keeps me well.

Thoughts?

[Chasingsunsets]

Hi @Jason_and_me that makes complete sense. During the week, you're so busy that you are distracted from your own life stressors/responsibilities in a way. Then the weekend comes, and the busyness slows down, you are confronted about your life together with having less access to your health professionals. It’s definitely a challenge, right? You’re definitely not alone in this.

I work all kinds of hours, so my days off aren't always the weekends. Sometimes they include weekends, but I can really relate to work acting as a kind of protective factor for our mental health. I know I need to learn how to live outside of work, as it's been such a big part of my life. Work comes with a manual and instructions of how to trouble shoot etc whereas life doesn’t hey.

I've learned to really celebrate weekends, even though I don't always get to enjoy them the way most people do. I try to join in on the energy people have when they look forward to their weekends. It’s helped me psychologically to focus on the excitement others feel in hope that one day I can truly enjoy them too. They don’t feel as negative now as they once did so this mind set has been working 🤞

What are some things you enjoy? I ask as I hear you have built up the weekends to not be the greatest days which is completely understandable, especially given what shuts down during that time and our health that continues. I was wondering if you enjoy structure or planning, maybe creating some ideas for your weekends that could make them more appealing, fun, and less overwhelming? So they can feel less dark?

Sorry, I don’t have many answers for you but wanted to let you know you aren’t alone with these feelings 🙏

The sane forum has been a great platform for me, full of brilliant people and there are some great threads to be part of. By the way, do you like coffee or tea? @Shaz51 runs coffee chats on the weekends, it’s one of my favourite threads here, might see you there if this interests you or we can tag you there 😊 

Take care ☀️

chasingsunsets 

[Lapis_Anteater]

Hey @Jason_and_me 

I total understand where you’re coming from. I tend to struggle with university breaks because of the lack of structure and distraction. I think the thing that helps me is to keep a similar routine. I like going for walks, so I make sure I do it at least a couple of times during the weekend or breaks.

Is there anything you would do during the week if you weren’t as busy? Do you have any hobbies or things you’re interested in trying? I know finding the motivation to do things when you don’t have to can be very challenging. But starting is usually the hardest bit. Once you get going things might feel easier. You are definitely not alone.  

[Jason_and_me]

I think that’s the real problem. There’s been a string of hits lately that haven’t just stressed me, they’ve shattered parts of who I thought I was. Every time I felt like I’d stabilised, something else came along and yanked the rug out from under me again.

Now I’m not even sure what or who is left. The interests and hobbies that used to define me are just… gone. So I’m standing in this strange, empty space trying to figure out what my identity even is now, or what’s supposed to grow there next.

Interesting times.

[Shaz51]

Hello @Jason_and_me , @Lapis_Anteater , @Chasingsunsets , @tyme 

[blue_wren]

I totally resonate with this post @Jason_and_me 

I have found weekends incredibly hard for all the reasons you articulated so beautifully. 

For the last couple of weekends i've made sure to structure my weekends with connection, travel and new environments, because for all the reasons you've mentioned, I have learned that I need to fill at least one day with something else. 

This weekend I haven't, and I'm feeling the difference. My brain was telling me "I need a chill weekend, the other weekends have been so busy" so I didn't structure anything. And today/tonight have been HARD. The same brain that told me not to book anything in is now also asking me why I didn't. It's like there's no relief. 

I know I have to change my environment tomorrow - that is clear after today. So I'm trying to plan for some low-key activities to give myself a break from my mind. Like maybe going for a swim at the local pool, or a walk around the bay, anything that gets me out of my apartment and also out of my own head.