04-10-2019 09:21 PM
04-10-2019 09:50 PM
04-10-2019 09:50 PM
Finally told my therapist that I couldn't understand why he was nice to me all the time. I don't understand why he doesn't outright hate me.
Everyone hates me. Everything hates me. I am vile worthless scum.
He said he cares for me, but he admitted that he would understand if I didn't believe it. I feel a teeny bit better.
But, I've just been feeling so suicidal. I am worthless scum. There is not a single good, positive or whole thing about me. Just an empty worthless corpse. I want to die. I want to do it now. I won't. But I want to. The urge and the thoughts never leave the forefront of my mind. And I hope it's only a matter of time.
04-10-2019 09:51 PM
04-10-2019 09:59 PM
04-10-2019 09:59 PM
Things are sounding so tough tonight @Velociraptor . I have just sent you an email to check in.
04-10-2019 10:06 PM - edited 04-10-2019 10:11 PM
04-10-2019 10:06 PM - edited 04-10-2019 10:11 PM
Hey @Velociraptor 👋🏻
how is it going? Are you studying at the moment too?
You know from someone on the outside it sounds like your psychologist might be good fit.
want to let us know what else is going on. Would love to hear what you’ve been up to.
04-10-2019 10:09 PM
04-10-2019 10:09 PM
PS @Velociraptor you know I will disagree with the description of yourself.
You know this bit “The urge and the thoughts never leave the forefront of my mind” It’s a hard one to let go of. I’ve come a long way but still can’t see a future where I’m in it. Those thoughts and urges still come but not as intense but maybe still as often.
04-10-2019 10:17 PM
04-10-2019 10:17 PM
Hey @Velociraptor . I’ve taken sleep meds so may not be here when you respond. I hope you are ok tonight. Sending hugs 💜🤗
05-10-2019 07:11 AM
05-10-2019 07:11 AM
05-10-2019 07:27 AM
05-10-2019 07:27 AM
Hi @Velociraptor 👋
Thanks for tagging me .....
I am sorry you are struggling so hard at the moment, but also super glad to see you here for the sane reason ..... you are amongst forum friends who hear and see you and can sit with you through the awful struggles.
Its a quietish day for me today after some not-quiet weeks and too-little sleep, but I am hoping to go for a long walk and see some art by someone I know across the day. Then there is more work to get on with.
i will be looking for you across the day. Please keep tagging me, cos tagged posts are what I go to first ....
05-10-2019 02:42 PM
05-10-2019 02:42 PM
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