Lived Experience Forum

[Daphne1]

Hi everyone,

I have tried to get a referral to get help for my memory problems multiple times over the past 10 years and the last attempt ended so terribly that I am actually now frightened to talk to my GP. It feels like it might be the last time I get the courage to try so I don't want to mess it up.

My current GP is lovely but she isn't likely to be expert in trauma, is she? So I'm worried.

The first time I tried to get help I didn't realise that psychologists couldn't refer to psychiatrists. At that time, 10 years ago, I was feeling very humiliated, realising how crazy I must seem to other people when I forget where I am or forget meeting people, etc. So it took all my courage to go along to a counsellor and say "I think I have dissociative identity disorder". She responded in a very chastising tone "I think I'll tell you what you have". And I assume I switched at that moment because I don't remember anything else. I tried again with another counsellor and got nowhere. Then I tried with a GP who gave me like a test for dementia and asked me in the middle to talk about my family. I then failed the dementia test. Again I assume because I probably switched. I had only described memory problems because I was afraid of saying what I thought it was in case he chastised me like the psychologist had. I went back again and was more honest and he said he had to see me switching before he could write a referral. When I explained I couldn't do it on purpose, he went to great lengths (i.e. sexual abuse) to make me switch. But because I was then out of it I still had to leave without a referral. So I went through all of that additional trauma and still didn't get any help. I still cry when I think about it.

So, I am nervous about what to say or do in my appointment with my GP to ensure I get a referral - any advice on that? And I am sure if she is going to give a referral she'd be happy to ensure it is a good psychiatrist with experience of DID but how can I help her find the right one that is expert at trauma?

[Historylover]

Such dreadful experiences, @Daphne1.  I have a terrible memory too, but it isn't the same as yours. I have had mine since adolescence and recently I have come to the realization that it may have been caused by heavily hitting my head on the bottom of a pool around that time. I have recently learned that concussion can affect memory by damaging the hippocampus; even map reading ability can be affected (which I am notoriously bad at). I would love to discuss this with a GP but I have no doubt that he would pull dementia out of his bag of random diagnoses; and one isn't allowed to disagree or initiate further discussion in case the time constraint intervenes, or he is caught simply not knowing. Anyway, I have a long-standing, terrible memory but it seems to be compensated in other ways and, interestingly, I often remember things others had forgotten.  Mine seems selective and I have to purposely use mnemonics sometimes.

Unfortunately, I don't have any advice but just thought I'd drop in and say Hello. I hope an opportunity for you to get to the bottom of your memory problem presents soon. Sending best wishes.

[Twilightsomniac]

Hi @Daphne1, 

As someone who has been what your going through, I can say I understand the struggle.

After 4 years I finally met a Dr who referred me to a clinical trauma psychiatrist at one of the big Brisbane hospitals.

I also went through a few psychs/counsellors that didn't listen to me and it is so hard to put trust in a good one after so many bad ones. 

I really hope that this dr listens to you a refers you properly. If she is will to do the referral maybe suggest being referred to specifically a trauma psych 

Good luck I hope all goes well

[Daphne1]

Thanks for the best wishes. Take care.

[Daphne1]

Thanks for sharing. It helps to know I'm not the only one. And thanks for the advice.

[FloatingFeather]

Hi @Daphne1,

To be honest I don't know much about dissociative identity disorder but I wonder if you could get a referral to speak with an accredited trauma counsellor or psychologist? As they are more specialised they may be better able to help you / point you in the right direction. I would imagine your GP would have access to this information (a list of trauma counsellors / psychologists).

I wish you all the best and I really do hope your appointment with the GP goes well.

Warm wishes,

FloatingFeather

[Daphne1]

@FloatingFeather thanks for your help

[Daphne1]

@Historylover thank you.

I also sent an email to the helpline asking for advice and they provided this:

You can do a search for a psychiatrist that meets your needs here https://www.yourhealthinmind.org/find-a-psychiatrist and then request your GP to provide you with a referral to them.

I noticed that one of the categories of expertise was head or brain injury and I wondered if the same advice might apply for you? (Maybe going to the GP asking to be referred to have the old brain injury investigated might help?) No idea of course but thought I'd share just in case.

Take care

[Historylover]

Thank you for thinking of me, @Daphne1 , but my memory doesn't cause me many problems–it's just annoying. Names are the most common problem, but a lot of people have that so I don't feel too unusual in that regard. Mine just hits roadblocks sometimes and churns out the information hours or days later. It's not a problem. If it was caused by that injury there'd be nothing they could do, and maybe I just have an unusually functioning brain. I always try to keep it in best working order.😊 Best wishes, have a good day.

[Kit2]

Hi

Really sorry you have felt not listened too, that sounds really hard. It is not a widely understood disorder and a GP is unlikely to know very much about it. Perhaps one way would be to see a psychologist who specialises in DID and if possible also in PTSD and complex PTSD. Not all trauma psychologists can diagnose it i believe so finding the right person is key. My understanding is it is hard to diagnose DID and in most cases occurs after a lot of sessions as much information is required and after a diagnosis you will need ongoing support. So while it might possibly take a while of seeing someone to get a diagnosis all that support can be very helpful. Good luck with it all and good on you for not giving up.