Just checking in.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Love the fur babies pic @CheerBear 🤗❤️

[CheerBear]

I missed you post earlier @Faith-and-Hope - sorry! Sounds like a really lovely day and I hope you find some recharge in it. I don't know whether it is this way for you but maybe the visitors noticing Mr and his intensity and the impact on him, is validating for you?

Mega hugs to you, only imagining the challenges and their toll on you all 😔❤

[Faith-and-Hope]

It is validating @CheerBear , but bittersweet too ..... it means that the illness is taking a physical toll, and this is likely the point where it begins to escalate ...... so a very mixed blessing, and stressful in its potential to slide all over the road from here.  

Trying not to think about that too much and stay in the moment, because that is a worst case scenario, and much softer landings are possible ..... hoping for one of those, of course.  It would be nice if we could place an order for it ....

Edit:  it’s a bit traumatic to think that I have spent 9 years trying to prevent it coming to this, and have been running behind a bolting horse the whole time ..... one that others could neither seem to see nor acknowledge ......

For my part, the validation is necessary because it will

release me )

(and the kids) from the judgement I have come under in the process, and I need that for my own self-esteem.

I hope our story helps to create better systems for others in our position.  My hubby now has a much further distance to cover in terms of recovery that early intervention would have avoided ...... but that enters the territory of “readiness” and “willingness” too ...... such murky waters where adults are concerned.  If spouses had the same sort of platform that parents do in regard to eating disorders, I feel it would save an awful lot of grief.

[CheerBear]

I can see how it would be bittersweet @Faith-and-Hope and how difficult it is to be a partner of someone not ready or willing to acknowledge or seek support for their issues. That must be very frustrating and disheartening for you.

I don't know if you remember, but middle had the ? of an ED (looking at ARFID but also anorexia). The paed we saw was so dismissive. He went along the lines of 'I see so much worse' 😏😔 So unhelpful. Their behaviour has changed from food to other aspects of their life now with anxiety and trauma driving a lot of their difficulties. I expect it will bounce around between 'things' until the cause of it all is worked through, so the under control of their out of control food stuff may only be temporary (though hoping not). Seeking support is hard but there is probably so much more we can do for them than if they were an adult. For you I imagine it is like you have your hands tied a bit and are stuck watching a train off the tracks. Super tough.

Heading out of the lovely morning stillness and into the chaos of getting us all home, supermarketed, washed uniformed, organised housed etc and ready for some company and cricket now. I think I'd prefer to stay here for the rest of the day!

Some 🐦🐤 some ☀️ and some 🌬 (that's fresh air) for you before you get there in person ❤❤❤

[Zoe7]

awww they are gorgeous @CheerBear  It is a shame they did not get along but with more exposure to each other they will work it out. I was really worried that Cat and Toby wuld not get along but they live (mostly) harmoniously together - plenty of time to get used to each other. Toby certainly gets the most attention but Cat comes for cuddles too. Toby does occasionally get jealous but I snuggle Cat close as much as I can. They both have their mad moments - often initiated by Toby wanting to play and Cat not having a bar of him lol

[Teej]

Very cute @CheerBear 💜💜💜. Hopefully they’ll learn to get along. 

Sorry if I’m a bit of a space cadet at the moment. I have had a very meh weekend where I just couldn’t get myself motivated. I have spent almost the entire weekend getting distracted or distracting 😳😩. I just realised what part of it was. I’ve been feeling really crappy about my son coming home as he told me on the weekend that his girlfriend is really pushing to move out and get somewhere for them (which I get totally but I think I’m feeling lots of hurts over it and what’s the point stuff). My big thing was my son busted his good leg 😖. He didn’t need me which was ok although I spent the weekend dealing with it too via messages and calls. It’s a long hard road for him now and his sporting life is over at 18 ☹️. Will still need more confirmation this week but he knows what he’s done. I’m ok, I  just realised this sounds like a pity party....which it is a bit but whinge over. 

I hope today went ok @Faith-and-Hope 💜🤗. When do visitors go? 

Hoping you are feeling rested for this week @Zoe7 . Wishing you all the best and hoping it’s a smooth week. 

[CheerBear]

It's ok to be a space cadet @Teej (but I dont think you are!). That sucks so much about your busted legged son 🙁 Was it a surgery thing? Hugs for the tricky changes that might be happening for other son and you too. That is a big one.

Lots happening for you Teej. Big ❤

[Zoe7]

Not a pity party @Teej  Just stuff going on for you that it is more than okay for you to be talking about - that is what we are here for after all Hon 

It sounds like you are really sad that your son wants to move out and that is quite natural - when the kids want to go out on their own it leaves a gap in your life and you mourn the relationship you have had for a time - again quite a natural thing to do. 

It is not good that your son has broken his leg - I know how an injury can stop your sporting life as I had a serious neck injury that stopped me playing any sport in my early 20s - it was devastating at the time for me so I can imagine it is somewhat the same for your son ...but life goes on and you fill it with other things in time.

I am pretty well rested after sleeping most of yeaterday. I have been doing a little more housework today and have now settled in for the evening before another hopefully early night. Tomorrow will be my first Monday as last week was a public holiday here - so new classes I haven't been in as yet. Hopefully it will be a nice day - I already know we are doing some Science, Maths and writing work so all things I can do in the 4/5 class. In the morning I am on a 1/2 I haven't been to before then another 1/2 I have so a bit of familiarity on that class already. No meetings after work either tomorrow so should be home fairly early, We have to stay until 3.30 but I am less than 10 minutes from home so that doesn't bother me. Will let you know how the day goes 

[Teej]

Yeah it’s a surgery @CheerBear . He has been on the waiting list for a year for the other one. The other one he has done really badly. This one we are waiting to see. He went to the hospital and spent 5 hours for them to say it’s a sprain and rest it, which was the response the hospital did last time. This time he knows though. Last time he continued sports practices until it wasn’t getting better and he hurt it again, only for the go to send him for an mri and found out he’d busted 3 ligaments (called an unhappy triad). My kids have a bit of a freakishly high pain tolerance which means doctors tend to dismiss them and they walk around for weeks with major injuries before they are diagnosed. The boys Physio says they are freaks with how they deal with injuries and their pain tolerance. He sent one of mine once to be xrayed because I took him to the physio after he’d been complaining of a sore shoulder when he ran fast. Results showed a collar bone that was snapped through but the bone had landed back in an ok way and was healing. He knew when he broke it 3 weeks earlier :face_with_rolling_eyes:. He never forgave me as he’d been trying out for high jump the day before and I wouldn’t let him do sports day the next day.  Because this one walked into hospital they assumed it’s ok. Having said that, having a high pain tolerance has its moments of being a good thing too, they don’t whinge about much. 

The one moving out is hard. I do better with him around. But I can’t keep him here. He is a man and at his age (24) it is a perfectly normal thing. 

How are your well and unwell ones getting on? 

[Teej]

Yay @Zoe7  for feeling rested. I hadn’t clicked to you not doing a teaching Monday. I hope you have some nice classes. 

Oh that would have been terrible having a broken neck so young. There are lots of other implications for my son as it’s a lot of time off work as he does physical work. Knowing he know has to have two surgeries is playing on his mind. No annual leave for the next couple of years as well as unpaid time off. He needs to do it though. He said he’s got by with the first one but he can’t have no stable knees.