Yummy @Former-Member glad that it worked out. I love limes, I bought 10 for 2 bucks, I could suck on them every day or drink lime and soda every day.
It's been really humid in Sydney this week or I would have cooked something hot.
Hope you are well @Former-Member @outlander @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @Maggie @greenpea
I hope that you are travelling OK @Queenie and that your symptoms have settled. I disappear offline at times too if I am in a flare and very symptomatic. I am even considering putting a landline on as a way to manage my PTSD and anxiety better, so I can turn my mobile off at times, I find my mobile very anxiety increasing if I need a time out and the text messages fly in at any hour of the day or night.
Corny 
https://twitter.com/humorandanimals/status/1228690128220180480
Hope your yearly funding meeting went OK @greenpea it must be stressful being reassessed again, but I hope that they were nice. @Former-Member I hope you are doing OK, I saw the confrontation earlier in the week & hope it didn't rattle you too much or remind you of the BB forum. I just thought oh god, the last thing you need is a guilt trip. I completely agree with you it isn't the right format for neediness that extreme not to mention how incredibly demanding it was of people with complex MI of their own, or complex caring/home life. I find it very off putting to be spoken to like that, and I think that it is one of the downfalls of the BB website, people hide behind their computers and it provides an opportunity to get worse, not better. Having community members available 24/7 to validate you is not necessarily a good thing, it can validate unhealthy behaviours and keep them at a dead end road and avoiding face to face contact entirely and real conversation. I don't understand why they have designed it so a user can change their user name and the same person can appear to be 15 different people on there, with the same problems repeating over and over and over again like a broken record, with zero change, and you watch other people with a mental illness of their own prop them up for free. I really think that that website can be monitored better, I am going to write a letter about what happened to me on there and also give some feedback to how it can be improved. Make little goals for yourself and get some sunshine
Happy Mardi Gras
I never thought about it that way @Former-Member , that the reason we are drawn to those stories, and despite it being triggering, we read it anyway because we are surveying the threats and danger. The brain is doing its best to protect us.
But we are stuck with a head that is hyper alert and hyper vigilant to threats and danger, and even if our own major trauma has passed, our body doesn't agree. It is still surveying the horizon. I asked my clinical psychologist this week about something that I really don't understand, is people that have experienced sexual violence that they say was from a very young age and they have PTSD, are able to sign up to online dating, let a stranger into their bed, or invite a complete stranger to their house! How is that even physically possible. My little heart would literally explode from the physical cascade that is set off that my trauma burnt into the cells of my brain and nervous system. I was remembering the other day that I think that I was 25 when I started packing a second shirt in my bag for work because of the sweat that was coming off me. I used to have to change at work, or I would be like an old grandpa and wear a thick bonds shirt under my uniform so no one would see all my sweat patches. My friend that works in the criminal justice system thinks that PTSD is thrown around a lot, and its losing its meaning. He had a women ask him with another MI if he believed she may have PTSD because a door slammed and she jumped.....this is a guy that among other incidences of his life almost being taken was set upon by 7 guys with knives walking home in a major city overseas in his late teens.....he was like, hmmm sweetie, the door slammed and you jumped, you're going through some anxiety right now but I am pretty confident you do not have PTSD.
In terms of your anniversary Sherry it seems to be quite common that you can get worse, not better. I have. Shock is an incredible drug and you had to keep going for other people. Once my mother was finally out of regional NSW and back in Sydney and set up here, my health disintegrated. My brain was able to lock some of it away and keep going, but once there was enough space for me to fall apart its like it came back 10 fold. My body caved in.
I have found it incredibly hard to accept my baseline, and how low it is. You may be the same. You just don't have the stress resilience anymore and your baseline has moved forever. Some memories are burnt into your cells.
You've been permanently injured, and it was no accident, that's what's so hard to accept. It was premeditated and purposeful. It would have been a different psychology if you'd been hit by a car.
Clinical psychology has become so expensive. When I was going regularly the out of pocket different was only like, $15-$20, but now it is close to a$100! that is not affordable for people. Did you see your therapist this week?
Corny
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