Oh gosh @Faith-and-Hope I really hope that you can get out of this with your health as intact as possible. It's a dreary life living with chronic health problems, it gets you down, and takes so much stamina to keep going.
I watched Insight on SBS the other night, the topic was narcissism and it also touched on NPD. It did depict the whole continuum of narcissism pretty well, but really only the 2nd half is when they talked about it intersecting with abuse and DV. It did quite a good job of showing people's personalities aside from a personality disorder. Maybe you could watch it.
It's a lovely day here in Sydney, I have Dr Kindness this afternoon, I don't really feel like talking about myself today. I hope that you are enjoying your art and that you are well, Corny 
It makes me so angry that he is doing this to you @Faith-and-Hope but I am so relieved the relationship is over, as painful as it has been, this is the lesser pain. Another 30 or 40 years with him would break your spirit. You've had the heartbreak which is so painful, but once you're spirit is broken, its just on another level of brokenness that can't be fixed. His poodle can have him.
His behaviour isn't surprising when it comes to money. I hope there is some sort of legal mechanism where he is financially penalised for delaying proceedings.
You're nothing like him @Faith-and-Hope , if you were you'd be trapped in a tennis match of t*t-for-tat revenge of getting even, but you haven't. Aside from the heartbreak you're also really different people when it comes to your nature. The poodle can have him.
I agree @Faith-and-Hope he will get worse. Worse with you and after the settlement is over, worse with age, my father just got worse and worse. If his poodle has a similar personality they will be a very unpleasant couple to be around, friends may fall away, even family could distance themselves for their own sanity.
My psychologist says to me, in her clinical experience that it is only the minority of people that don't monkey branch from relationship to relationship or fling to casual fling in some way or other. I think that it isn't just a fear of being alone thing, but also very much an ego thing. They have to appear to have come out on top, and can't show any vulnerability after being dumped.
Situations like you are living through right now with your exhusband @Faith-and-Hope makes you wonder if we can ever truly know another person. Some people are so incapable of change, and yet others do these scary flips that leave their family and friends bewildered. From what you've described the success of your business may have gone to your ex's head, and brought to the fore personality traits that have always been there. I guess when you come from poverty, having status anxiety would be normal, but then the drastic change of lifestyle and social status seems to uncovered other sides of him. His abusive side explains his hatred towards you and his vindictiveness. He doesn't even seem concerned for your well being, it doesn't come across that he has any worry about how much he has hurt you. I think it is also very telling of his nature and character that he chooses to be in a relationship with a women that treats a vulnerable person with a disability, not just anyone, but his partner's daughter with vindictiveness! If I was him I would have thrown her to the curb at the slightest sign of that temperament.......says a lot about him, as if he too, sees his daughter as less than.
If the relationship had come to its natural end and there just wasn't that connection and spark anymore I guess you would wish him well and could possibly still be friends. But I can't see there being any chance of being friends, it would feel so forced, fake and given his behaviour yuck. It's a part of life, that not everything can be fixed, and sometimes the end is just the end and that chapter is closed for good.
You've been looking after your Dad a lot @Faith-and-Hope is he frail and not in good health? Did your Mum and Dad have a loving relationship? It warms my heart so deeply to see my generation successfully changing the cycle of dysfunction and abuse, my sibs in a very happy marriage, been together since I was 15 years old, and my niece and nephew have never heard raised voices. Frustrated voices after a long day in the office and a Sydney commute, but never any yelling. I hope your Dad's OK and doesn't have much cognitive decline and still knows his daughter,. I think I am going to start my Christmas shopping, Corny
Hello @Faith-and-Hope how are you going with everything?.......time has gotten away from me and you would be right back into Term 3 or Semester 2.......it's all bit of a haze to be honest the last 3 months. My sibs and I have been lacking a lot of motivation.....none of us are felling social, we can still laugh, but cry very easily as well. We are trying to organise a memorial for Mum in December. It has increased my anxiety because I have catapulted back into the whole extended family after a 2 and a half year separation to save myself......Just trying to take it day-by-day, I have no capacity to mutli-task, my wheels come off very easily.
Dare I ask how it is going with your ex-husband and finalising the divorce? I look at the calendar and hope for a resolution for you this year, but I know that January is a write off in Australia, a lot closes down......there really is no end to their menace and destruction is there Faith, they have no shame, we recently found out that we have at the very least 3 half siblings from his affairs....at least 3. Until you've lived it, its hard to explain it to others. I never want to meet them. They are the lucky ones if you ask me, I just want to erase him from my life entirely and live my own life, I won't let him control & influence me from the grave .....Corny
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