Topic Tuesday // Setting Boundaries // 22 November 7 - 9pm AEDT

[Shaz51]

Hello @Mama_Penguin, about work , we are self employed because of hubby`s MI and I have cancelled jobs or had to change the day because of his Mi and sometimes i think the people we work for will say , sorry don`t come back , so i know how you feel

[Murphy]

Have you found this strategy to work!

[Shaz51]

ah ha @MIFSAsupport, so what do i do

[Murphy]

Apologies, I was accidentally bumped when typing. My question was have you found that writing agreed boundaries to be a strategy that works? Thank you in advance

[MIFSAsupport]

@CARING4CARERS the way we describe the difference between care giving and care taking is....

When the person you care for is unwell and perhaps in crisis, you will need to step in and be the care taker. For exmaple take some of their responsibilties away for a time, like paying bills etc.  As your loved one is on the road to recovery we need to give back some of the responsibity to them, that is care giving.  Often we get stuck in the role of care taking and do thing that perhap our loved one could be doing for themself.

[MIFSAsupport]

@Murphy yes I have found this work however it is an indiviual journey for all of us. What works for some does't for others.  I have worked with carers that have set  budaries that I would never contemplate doing. 

[Shaz51]

that is sooo true @MIFSAsupport, and we end up doing everything like me

[Murphy]

Thank you for defining the difference.......Such a hard road.......and when does it become enabling?

[CARING4CARERS]

@MIFSAsupport Great job you're doing for a first timer! 

What is a boundaries plan? What would it include? What kind of things would you say to your loved one to initiate one of these "hey, let's talk about our boundaries, yours and mine" might be a bit confronting...

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@MIFSAsupport wrote:

@Shaz51 

People with a mental illness are rarely totally unwell all of the time, totally out of touch. There are times when thoughts and behaviours are more accessible to rational processes.  Grab this opportunity, do a boudaries plan together and also plan what happens when the boudaries are not working and when they are working.

In a caring role, you may feel you are going round and round in a constant pattern which, ironically, prevents the development of the very behaviours which you want to see?

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[CherryBomb]

Great questions @Murphy @CARING4CARERS - what is the boundary plan, and how do you know when caring becomes enabling? Looking forward to your answers @MIFSAsupport!