Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Amy1972]

He is acutely aware that there is something wrong, as he presented himself for diagnosis late last year working with his GP (who is incredible), Headspace, Psychiatrist (who diagnosed) & a Psychologist. I have been paying for the Psych, but he has not been going since before Christmas. 

I have tried to get boundaries in place but they fly out the window when he is in a low cycle. 

Anyway, all quiet at the moment, he is happy & functioning. Hopefully it stays like this for a few weeks at least.

[tyme]

How are you today @Amy1972 ?

Hope things are still settled. 

I'm curious to know a bit more about how previous boundary setting sort of just didn't work?

[PeppyPatti]

Hello @Amy1972 

Just to let you know I hear you honey. My oldest son at 21 ended up in a locked ward in Brisbane which I would tentatively say ...  Sounds like bipolar symptoms for a month via drug and alcohol use. He was at Uni.  He allowed me to visit him once a year from Perth, this is 13 years ago when I originally joined Sane forums - around that time for support. 

The advice I got all those years ago is just to be a Mum. It was terribly hard. Iv had to let go, feel strong in myself - I feel like iv missed out on years of not being present in his life.  He has reached out to my brother and his wife and not bothered with me. To my mum and not been present in my life. . It has bothered  me.  He's forgotten any good times from his childhood.

Fast forward 13 years, after several years, he completed a Philosophy degree - getting terribly sick  several times, but he didn't end up in hospital again. 

Today, He's got a lovely girlfriend is about to complete a lawyer's degree. 

This is completely his journey, it's his success story and no one else's. 

But on looking back I can see how mental illness has directed his life. Iv been over to visiting him, placed his medication on his kitchen table and said, " okay, this is here, you take it if you want but if you don't want to it's okay...    Then been the brunt of him not being medicated. 

He's now 33 years old, 

[Amy1972]

Thank you for sharing your story. That sounds really tough.

I agree with the 'just be a Mum' bit & it is their journey not ours. We have our lives. 

Literally you just wish they were normal. Whatever that is. 

Take care xx 

[Amy1972]

Thank you for sharing your story. That sounds really tough.

I agree with the just be a Mum bit & it is their journey not ours. We have our lives. 

Literally you just wish they were normal. Whatever that is. 

Take care xx 

[PeppyPatti]

Dearest @Amy1972 

As I write, my biggest woe is that I am not present in his life. 

But I feel that by your strength to daily focus on boundaries is going to really help you. 

May I suggest something? Have you a hobby you enjoy ? I get a lot of happiness sewing quilts. They are only squares but I'm about to start my own Etsy store. 

[Tilz]

@Amy1972  welcome to the forum. You are a strong mum. We are always with you ❤️