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Re: 2 young adult daughters with BPD

Well said @BPDSurvivor  - and I am so glad you were able to overcome your struggles - at least to some extent - with therapy - I am sure it can be done but it has to come from the person who has the disorder - as you said

 

And sorry I had to stop midstream @Donna63  - I agree with so much that BPDSurvivor has said - when my son was alive there was so little help and although I searched for help for him it wasns't available - so I went the Tough Love route and alas - some of these kids die - 

 

However - I really think that your younger daughter needs some Tough Love but where do you find it? Information is available on the internet - under Tough Love and Families Anonymous. This is mostly for family members who are into abusing drugs and alcohol but it is to help people deal with their kids abusive behaviour

 

I hope you can find some help - and you need it - I know how full on it is caring for something with different behaviours - whatever is causing them 

 

We are here for you though - just a tag away - most of the time there are people about during the day - even at night - even so - if you leave a message someone will get back to you

 

Dec

Re: 2 young adult daughters with BPD

Many great suggestions & insights  @Owlunar @BPDSurvivor @Anastasia  & @WIP. I hope some of these may help @Donna63, though what I will add is to remember that each situation is as unique as the individuals involved, so don't be afraid to try different things until you find the right solution that works for you and your daughters, and of course, feel free to  keep posting here to keep us updated and reach out for support as you need, and as @Faith-and-Hope & @SJT63 and others have said, take care 🌷

Re: 2 young adult daughters with BPD

Thanks for your advice re my girls.  I think it helps to talk to someone who has BPD as I get an insight into how my reactions/behaviours might effect them.  No one knows a BPD like another BPD!

 

Any tips on helping her with her particular triggers? 

 

  • Body image - eating disorder
  • Self-worth - dates losers as she doesn't think she deserves better
  • Abandonment - wants boyfriend there when she wants him but hates to feel smothered

She wants to get better but won't do the work. She sees a psychologist but won't talk about the elephant in the room that coincided with the start of her problems (sexual assault).  I don't think we can move forward until she accepts that is a big hurdle she needs to unpack.

 

She keeps going off her meds and has a manic week until I can get to start them again, then another week of aggression while we wait for them to kick in.

 

I've told her im in this forum and a FB group for parents.  I've shared the success stories hoping she will see that if she does the work she will have a better chance at a happy life.

 

XX

 

Re: 2 young adult daughters with BPD

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts insights and support for @Donna63 

 

@BPDSurvivor is very generous with her time. Perhaps have a look at her thread it may also provide some insight for you?

Raising Awareness of BPD - Flipping the Script 

Take care Donna ❤️

Re: 2 young adult daughters with BPD

Hi not being able to be around your energy in my experience they can barely handle their emotions let alone worry about other people

Re: 2 young adult daughters with BPD

Hi @Donna63 ,

 

How are things going for you? I thought I'd check in as I know things can change from moment to moment in a borderline's life, thus affecting those around them.

 

BPDSurvivor

Re: 2 young adult daughters with BPD

I so hear you and share your distress and concern. My daughter is 27 and done all those things too. She lives with me and has for years the abuse is ongoing,breaks all my things uses and abuses without remorse. Substance abuse and acoholism  still ongoing. Its very distressing and I don't have a life. But I have decided to take control again. Which is very hard but this is my life too. As it is your life. They have their own journey to travel as do we. There needs to be places where people who have such distress and anxiety can be in safe places together and live a fruitfull and fulfilling life themselves. Will stay in the loop if I find the answer. Chin up you are a wonderful person, care, but live your life and don't feel guilty 

Re: 2 young adult daughters with BPD

Hi, I'm new here today.  My husband has BPD and it's been 18 years of grief and drama. He moved out last weekend and has cut off all contact so I'm not in the best place myself right now but it must be incredibly difficult when it's your children.  I just wanted to say that you are no alone.  It's not a nice club to be a member of but please know that I feel for you.

 

I came across an Australian BPD group on Facebook that has some fantastic literature in their files section.  The group is called Borderline Personality Disorder Australia. Maybe join and have a look through the files and see if there is anything there that might help you.

 

Thinking of you.

 

 

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