Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

Cold wet teatowel over your neck in front of the fan maybe @Adge i keep Sparkling water chilled for my syncopy episodes. Can you sip ice?. Hope your laydown helps. xox

[Former-Member]

Went to movies, saw "The Dry" - Eric Banner. It was good (for a murder mystery in the Australian outback), good storyline with a few unexpected twists. After the movie we had coffee & icecream @ Gelato Cafe. Unfortunately my good time was crushed by a tsunami of giggling primary middle school girls 😞 it triggered me, like torture 😣 and I found myself talking about it all (my girl dying AustDay), with my new friend. Controlled but pressured. Probably not what new friend needed to hear on her b'day. We got outa there real quick. Sh#t! Can't help it 😭. This is why I don't go out, and why I stay away from people. At least I didn't cry in public. The anxiety it triggers makes me talk too much grr. Acceptance MUST be coming though, re less tears... but I don't wanna let go, I can't, I'm so scared I'll forget, I don't want to lose her... 😢crying.
New Church left MSG, rang back excited to have made another new connection. But 😞 she couldn't remember me, but invited me to a BBQ Australia Day 😣, Of cause I declined, stating 'other plans' 😢
How can I 'party' on the day my girl died!? I can't. It still messes with my head this time of year, even 10yrs later. So let me apologize ahead of time, especially to my son, for not being what everyone expects of me, for not answering messages, or calls promptly, or at all. I'm just not my best at this time. The dishes are mounting, the dog needs to ask for meals and I'm living on cheese and biscuits.
Everything goes grey,
I'm not good company...
There's a raging torrent riptide within that fights to pull me out to sea oblivion. It takes all my energy to stay grounded to the little bits that i do here on my own, I can't think, am accident probe, a fumblying fool to onlookers. I need to hibernate a while, lick my wounds I guess, be authentic to my heart. So please forgive me and wait for me on the other side, when I have more energy. Need you there 💕

[Zoe7]

@Former-Member Hey Hon. I have needed a break from the forum and have had considerable pain with my teeth and back but I have been very much thinking of you -e specially with what is coming uo for you this week. I am not sure how much I will be around for the next few days but know I am with you in spirit and will try to be here on the day for you. Hugs and hugs and hugs 

[Anastasia]

Hugs @Former-Member 👂🤗💕🙏🌷

👋 @Zoe7 🙏🤗💕

[Former-Member]

Understand @Zoe7 - we have to self care, especially when we live alone. You've got school starting back too. Hugzz. Feel better soon 💕
Hi @Anastasia - you ok? 💕

[Zoe7]

One more week @Former-Member but I have appointments, meetings and a course next week also so it is going to be very busy.

[Anastasia]

A better day today, acceptance I guess. Thank you @Former-Member 🤗💕🙏

[Adge]

Hi @Former-Member Sorry to hear your Movie Outing (for Birthday friend) was triggering & felt unpleasant.

Particularly that it brought up feelings (loss & grief).

Giggling & people pointing in my direction does that to me too (triggering).

It's taken me all day to feel less nauseous, & not so over-heated.

Mindfulness Session at local Library was really Good - though it left me wanting more.

Was that all of it? Where's the rest of it, etc....

No handouts of what she spoke about - A printout would have been helpful.

If you want to learn or practice more Mindfulness - You have to Look Up Sites Online....

Where have I heard that before?....

Adge

[Zoe7]

Sending you some extra hugs tonight @Former-Member @Adge 

[Adge]

The Mindfulness Session had good practical exercises, scientific explanations, & good personal examples. @Former-Member 

Oh well, I guess you have to do it yourself (to practice Mindfulness) anyway – That’s how it works.

Maybe I was hoping for some personal connections (usually am).

Then it’s always “Hello, Goodbye” - & I never see them again.

Oh, there’s even “Mindfulness Apps”, now there is an App for everything….

Here's a new one (I didn't know) - Mindfulness Psychologist said that "Social Isolation triggers the Stress Response".

Social isolation causes stress (or is stressful) - Here's me wondering why I feel stressed, when there is no-one around to trigger me......

Adge