Lived Experience Forum

[LostAngel]

good afternoon everyone I need to vent as honestly being cooped up so long at home is starting to drive me bonkers,not to mention my worries that I am keeping from family at the momment I mean for one thing they dont realise how I feel at the momment cause I havnt shown that I am struggling emotionally but yet I keep trying to just self motivate and push myself,soldiering on with different issues in my mind,maybe its time I give a family member or two a call just to talk to someone outside my own household for a change as Im mainly the one keeping myself cooped up at home and Im borderline sick of it today,it makes me feel angry and frustrated to be stuck at home but yeah I dont wanna wreck the car by driving too frequently either as the engine needs replacing which anyway but now Im so sick of stating home Im willing to take the risk of driving the car just so I can get out the house to have some space to myself for a while,maybe Im starting to feel a bit trapped by my own Emotional walls of what Ive been going through lately and the weight of keeping it to myself,I dont want family to see whats going wrong for me I want them to see that things are going good and I really want to keep so much worry to myself,I am deciding to take a few risks this coming week Im going to meet up with a guy and Ill try to drive my car there even though it does need repairs,this particular guy is all about being sexually dominent and Ive become his submissive over the phone ect so Im kind of taking a risky move to meet him but I will meet him in Public first and if I need to Ill leave and also Im trying to ask another guy if he still wants to meet me down town at the shops again Ill be meeting him in a public place too so that if I have to leave then I will leave but basically I have the need to get out the house and also I do want to meet people,I want my life to be less lonely,I have to start trying to meet people in person at some point and Ill have my phone with me at all times so if car was to break down somewhere,I could ring a taxi or I could ring someone who I trust to pick me up but I seriously need to get out the house anyway and theres no harm talking to guys,meeting them in a public place just to see how things go I can always say no and always leave if need be but I so need to get out the house,I dont want family to know that the car engine is pretty much busted,Im keeping that to myself,Im fed up of being stuck at home,I may have to just call someone to talk to and please dont get me started on mothers day either as my mothers behaviour this week has been emotionally abusive again,thanks for listening

[wellwellwellnez]

Well, yeah, cloistering up bears its own risks. Good that you're looking to put yourself out there. I do want to say (and I think you're definitely exhibiting some good safety management procedures (but still just wanna say, hope you understand)) stay safe stayin' safe, babe.

"Man-domming" can be fine, I guess, but it can also be a problem masquerading as a kink. Just make sure that you're doing relationships that actually work for you and don't give up control without the appropriate trust. I have nothing to say about the down the shops guy at this stage. (Too consumerist? Way too early to say.) Sorry in general for ignorantly not minding my own business. Truth is I don't know much about any of you people. Just want to do due duties of care.

I also, think it's exciting that you've got multiple suitors. Getting the impression that you have a lot to offer. Also, getting the impression that you know what you're about. In general, I'd say "Go get 'em!"

[LostAngel]

@wellwellwellnez  I completelty understand what you mean about safety and thank you ,down the shops guy has not replied as yet but yes the other guy is definetely hang out /kinky type but we seem to get along so far,Im just desperate to get out the house for some reason staying put is getting to me,I still havnt called any family memebrs just to talk to,I guess what Im saying is I need the company,someone to talk to and for some reason I would much rather talk to a stranger or suiter as you say than my family but of course if all else fails I will turn to family,for now I dont know I just need company and Ill try to do so without getting physically hurt by the experience,but I cant garentee the same goes for emotions but again thank you I wont willingly put myself in harms way if I can help it,Ill make sure to have phone with me so that I can call for help if needed but yeah Ill see how things go

[prov3v5and6]

God made us to need sociality, but to need Him absolutely most of all. Don't ever underestimate His place in your life. He can help, He responds to faith.