@Birdofparadise8 okay I am going to give one piece of advice only - you don't need to apologise for your feelings and thoughts. Definitely not to me anyway. You have nothing to apologise for princess.
Sorry, I missed that post. It's a series of shows about her life with interviews during her rise and talking about her life. What a shame that Uni internet blocks it.
Your perspective about being in a pool is quite telling and I would suggest you tell your RO or psych that because I think that needs to be investigated. Like the tears are understandable, you feel like you're always crying and that your low self esteem makes you feel as though people are laughing at you because you feel that everyone thinks you are stupid/worthless/insignificant.
That's my perception anyway and while I have been told I have good insight I am not a trained professional, which is why I think you need to tell your psych about it.
It may be that you need a change in medication. You are not a bad person, and yes you probably are overly sensitive - I pick that up being overly sensitive myself. You take everything personally which is what we do when we are used to negativity all the time. And when someone says something positive we don't believe them.
Why don't you try to strike up a conversation with the people sitting near you at the footy? Even if it's just a simple, hi, how do you think we'll go tonight?
And then at Uni, try and talk to a couple of people about something, like the food.
These are just suggestions hon, I want to be able to help you feel better and these are things I would be encouraged to do when I was too scared to talk to my own shadow. I certainly don't recommend the way I did it - handed a platter of crudités and told to go out and talk to people at a party for a bunch of politicians! I was scared witless I thought I would pee myself!
You WILL get better hon, right now it doesn't feel like it and there is nothing worse than being in the middle of the pain. I am sending lots of hugs and prayers your way x
