I am struggling at the moment

[Former-Member]

Hey @Teej - sorry it has been such a tough time. Great to see you have a lot of support here and a safe plan for the day ahead. 

Just popping you an email shortly. 

[Sans911]

Hugs @Teej for the tough times. Al the best with your therapist today

[Teej]

Thanks @Sans911 .💜🤗

last night was a culmination of lots of things. I am feeling the huge feelings of rejection and failure with the one who wants to move out. I wish I was enough for them to stay. I know logically that it isn’t all about me (they’re fully grown, wise, financially stable mid twenties adults) but I can’t change the feelings that it is about all my weaknesses. 

I also had a phone call from my brother where we discussed getting a lawyer involved in my property settlement. I am so mixed with it all and hoped we’d not have to go down this path. My brother has been trying to contact my ex to start talking about it but my ex won’t respond. 

Yesterday my psych session through me every which way.  I don’t even know what to write about it. I’m trying to drag my backside to my therapist but I just want to turn everything off instead. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

💜 @Teej 

[CheerBear]

So much going on for you at the moment @Teej. No wonder you want to switch off from it.

It's so easy to say "one thing at a time" but so tricky when all the things happen at once.

🤞 therapist is helpful. I'm thinking she'll understand how important it is to not add to the messy today.

Big ❤ (and some ☃️❄⛄ for the heat)

[CheerBear]

Running the risk of being a pest @Teej but I am thinking tonight might be hard and I wanted to remind you of the landing spot and lots of ❤ and care for you here.

I hope things went well enough for the rest of your afternoon and evening.

[Teej]

Not being a pest @CheerBear . I have enough of those at home....ants, a new mouse 😬 and weevils. Sorry you dont come close in the pest department 😜. 

Im ok enough. Therapist glued humpty back together. Came home to news of my ex that makes everything messier in that department. Fueled my guilt, shame etc for getting my brother involved because I don’t have big enough big girl pants to deal with that issue. 

Am staying at mums tonight just to be safe. I have put so much on tomorrow. Here’s my whinge. It sounds heavy but I don’t feel it that way. For the last few weeks I’ve been putting things off because if it goes badly tomorrow I figured I wouldn’t need them anymore. I’ve spent the week justifying things if it goes badly. I’m writing it here so someone knows but also for accountability. 

[CheerBear]

Ugh to the pests @Teej.

I'm sorry about your ex. I don't think it matters how big our pants are, sometimes ex related things are very scary, messy and need other people to help out with.

It's great you're being safe and staying with your mum. I hear you with the last part of that post. I want to make it better for you 😔 I want to tell you it will be OK eventually and that you've been through really hard stuff and come out of it before. But I won't because I know how (swear word) this stuff is and that I can't know for sure that it will be OK, and how much this really does push people to the limits and maybe beyond sometimes, and how when you're there in that place, it can be impossible to see beyond it.

[Teej]

Thanks @CheerBear for understanding the mess that this causes. I’m going to try to sleep for now that I’m yawning. 💜🤗

[CheerBear]

I'm going to have to take something to settle my pretty hyper feeling head and try for bed now too @Teej.

I have a busy day of appointments then a beach trip after school and people for dinner tomorrow. I might not be around tomorrow (beyond a support button if I happen to catch a post about how it went). But I will be thinking of you and sending you all the "you got this" I have. I really, really hope it goes the right way for you.

Take care Teej ❤