I am struggling at the moment

[CheerBear]

Happy whispers @Teej 💗

Thank you heaps for your share this morning. I so appreciate it and had lots of feels from reading it. I love your open mindedness and your acceptance. They (along with your humor that makes me laugh and smile even when things are super tough) are some of the wonderful things about you Teej.

I don't know what is happening/will happen with friend and I guess my worry about talking about what's going on (despite seeming to often mention him here) is that I feel like I'm a bit all over the place with him and that I shouldn't be. In lots of ways I think I should know better with some of it but I also get caught with the good bits too, which there are many of. Super confusing. It was really nice to hear you get it, thank you.

We've been out today doing what we were supposed to do last night and it has felt great. Some more lovely news happened in my family pretty recently. I have a sibling who until a little while ago wouldn't have been able to get legally married here. My sibling became engaged in a beautiful way when they both took rings on a holiday without the other knowing, both had them in their pockets and both effectively asked the other at the same time 😊 So in the last couple of months I have doubled my sibling group after the other also became engaged not long ago. I am very happy for them all and have enjoyed sharing hugs and love with these two today. Definitely great feels today 🙂

Anyway, I hope today brings you something good and will look forward to hearing about however it has been if/when you share.

❤🎁🎈

[Maggie]

A very gentle happy birthday @Teej ☕️☕️☕️😘

[Teej]

Thank you @Maggie, @Sans911, @Zoe7, @eth the quiet birthday wishes. It was lovely to have a quiet, almost but not quite, under the radar birthday. I have enjoyed getting the birthday whisper wishes. 💜😘

@CheerBear I’m so 🤦‍♀️  I read your post yesterday but forgot to support it. Was all a bit of a blur for a while yesterday. 

My friend took me out and thoroughly spoiled me. She was very naughty. We saw a movie (with wine and a cheese platter), then went to a really nice restaurant, (like really nice) and had a cocktail and fabulous dinner, then had gelato. I came home exhausted. 

I then did what I usually do and had a freak out. I had 90 mins left on my birthday and felt thoroughly undeserving of it all and thought about suicide again. It came with a mix of I’d had a lovely day and allowed myself to be in the moment and enjoy it so maybe I should go out on a good note. There was much thought and very scrambled brain. Came close to calling lifeline but fell asleep before midnight.

today I’m in this strange mix of wanting to go forward but feeling very scared of all the Centrelink and job network buses coming my way in the next two weeks. I think I’m angry too that I feel like I could be making so many steps forward at the moment but am not coping with this hanging over my head, then I feel pathetic for not handling it better and allowing this to derail me. I know this post sounds all negative but it’s not. My mood is ok and I got through yesterday. I have fam dinner tonight and some things I want to do with what is left of today. I think I’m just venting that I’m flipping lots and a little scattered. :face_with_rolling_eyes:😳😬😏

[Teej]

Oh and @Faith-and-Hope, I felt your birthday wishes too 💜🤗

[eth]

You do deserve the pampering @Teej  You're a special person.  Sounds like you were with a really good friend.  Sorry to hear what you've been going through since.  Hope tonight goes smoothly and you feel better than last night at the end of your day xx

[CheerBear]

@Teej really glad to hear you had lots of love from your friend yesterday. I can imagine feeling like going out on a good note would have some appeal though it is great to get to today and be able to say you made it through yesterday too 😘

Very much understand the frustration with the c-link buses. It's not the same but I feel lots of frustration and anger that I am still stuffing around (and getting stuffed around) with NDIS stuff when I feel like I could be going forward if I wasnt having to deal with it and actually had the support I need. The smashing around by systems really sucks.

I hope your afternoon/evening goes OK or better for you ❤

[Aaron92]

I am struggling also I have a young family that I need to be here for and I think you need to be with yours they love you so much please don’t do anything silly I know how easy it is to say I get told all the time to just snap out of my panics and they last for days I’m over it but I know there is a better way out of stress forums like this will
Help us all find our own paths to be happier

[Shaz51]

glad to hear you had lots of love from your friend yesterday @Teej

Hugs @Aaron92, @CheerBear, @eth, @Maggie

[Teej]

Everything is 🤬. So much want it over. 😞

[Faith-and-Hope]

💜💜💜 @Teej  ..... Hugs n hugs ..... deep breaths to slow the adrenaline ......