Lived Experience Forum

[Greenman]

Struggling pretty hard currently and came here to share what was I going through and maybe get some advice.

for some background, I’ve been depressed for a while, tried a couple antidepressants with some mixed success. Previously was in an abusive relationship that left me dealing with some fairly significant self-doubt and trauma. Recently I am aware that I have probably been experiencing a manic or hypomanic episode, though at the time I just felt like I was feeling “better” and more energetic, but a lot of my behaviour was erratic, destructive and risky.

in the past month I’ve had three episodes which I’m worried we’re  alcohol-induced psychosis. 
I tried to see my doctor straight following the last episode but of course there’s always a wait to see anyone right now, but I’m just worried about how I can speak to my doctor about it?

I feel ashamed and embarrassed but also really scared. 
any help is appreciated 

[hanami]

Hi there @Greenman 

Welcome to the forums, I'm so glad you found us. It sounds like you have been going through a lot in regards to your mental health. I'm one of the peer support workers here on the forums and I feel that you would benefit from talking openly with your GP as soon as you can. I understand it can be quite scary opening up but they really are the best starting point for mental health issues as they can prescribe medication and refer you on to the relevant specialists you may need to see.

One good thing is you're away from the abusive relationship now but can understand you would be experiencing trauma from this. A good psychologist can help with this.

We are always here for you so please know you are not alone.  If you are becoming so depressed that you feel like you need crisis support also know that you can contact:

Lifeline 13 11 14  
Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659467  
beyondblue Support Service 1300 22 46 36

I will also add this link that has some information about trauma. 

Please keep reaching out and let us know how things are going

Sending hugs

Hanami

[FloatingFeather]

Hi @Greenman,

Welcome to the forums. My name is FloatingFeather and I am one of the peer support workers at SANE. It is very brave of you to tell your story and reach out. You've already done the first step by sharing your story with us! Please know that you are amongst friends on the forums. We have some amazing forum members that are very generous with their kindness and support so please know you are safe to talk about your true feelings and your lived experience.

From what you have written you have been through quite a lot - I think your depression is completely understandable.  I also think it is important to speak with your doctor. Maybe (if you feel comfortable) make an appointment even if it isn't for a week or two so then you at least know you can talk to a professional about what is happening to you soon. 

I have had depression on and off most of my adult life so I really understand how it feels. I also know that depression is very treatable and there is a lot of support for people with depression. 

I hear you when you say you feel ashamed, embarrassed but also really scared. You are a human being having a human response to what is happening to you and what you are feeling seems very understandable to me. I also understand that you may feel worried about talking to your GP but I think once you start talking you will start to feel comfortable about telling your story. Doctor's are trained to help, listen and support you - also feel comfortable that whatever you discuss in your appointment is confidential. I do think once you speak to your doctor you will feel better (at least a little) and hopefully you and your doctor can then work together to decide how best to move forward.

I wish you all the best and please feel free to reach out to the forums anytime for support - that's what we are here for :).

Best wishes,

FloatingFeather

[NatureLover]

Hi and welcome, @Greenman ...

I'm wondering if you can write it out and give it to your GP? Even if you print out your post above? 

Good luck...

[Greenman]

thanks for that, what I’ve done so far is just made a list of the things that have happened lately that have concerned me and I’ll use that while I chat.

I’ve also spoken with one of the practice nurses over the phone which really helped.

[NatureLover]

Sounds good, @Greenman ! Good luck...