Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Determined]

@Smc 

Have been thinking if you and family and how daughter is managing in the current social climate. Trust everything is as well as it can be.

And also being isolated from your parents with the lockdowns etc. Trust you and hubby are doing ok with the added complications. 

[Smc]

Hi @Determined.

OK- ish? She's kept herself out of hospital for a week and a half (yay). The longer that remains so, the better.

It took a bit to get it through to her that no, we couldn't drive over to her place to take her to a doctor's appointment, or to pick up some shopping.

She's still really set on moving out somewhere else, and had started filling in an application for a house to rent in the local city. We've very strongly discouraged her, because moving would be a logistical nightmare. Because they're family, Hubby plus Older Son plus Older Daughter doesn't breach the social distancing rules, but Hubby and I are a good team when it comes to packing and moving, and both of us would find it much harder without the other. And regardless, there's still the added risk caused by being out and about at the moment... and if it didn't work out, moving her back in with her brother in a months' time would be even worse. Presuming we all remain well enough to do so??

Older Son is getting pretty stressed, and having the place to himself would be good for him, but it's just not workable right now. I've suggested that they should try looking after themselves instead of doing things for each other, so that Older Daughter can get a more realistic idea of what she can and can't manage on her own. They're going to try that... so we'll see what happens.

Older Son usually does a lot of cycling, but often in the context of errands or outings. He hasn't been out for a while, and I'm encouraging him to do so for the simple purpose of getting exercise and some physical and mental space to himself. Hope he does so.

[Former-Member]

@Smc  

Hoping in all of this you are able to find some moments of joy.

[Smc]

@Former-Member, despite neither of us working out of home, it's a little odd being legally required to stay home as much as possible. But at the same time, outside engagements being completely on hold means that we're feeling more free to do homey stuff than usual. Probably encouraged by the fact that almost everyone on social media is busy trying to find ways of productively and/or enjoyably occupying themselves. And all three of us being at home is a strong incentive to make "home" a more comfortable place to be, so that's helping to motivate me into doing more sorting out than I've managed in a long time. Trying to go out shopping as little as possible means getting more imaginative with home cooking, including getting some baking done.
And Younger Daughter is taking it as an opportunity to learn more cookery skills (she's becoming a very good brownie maker 😄 ). She's also taking the opportunity to sleep in. 😛 We are too, but not as late as she does.... We're wondering whether a stretch of "school at home" might help bring down her stress levels somewhat. Hope so. She's been carrying too much for way too long.
And the other thing that's happening, is people are being encouraged to look out for each other's physical and mental health. That's been big around our town, which is great.
We've still to see what will happen when this virus peaks. At the moment, we haven't seen the worst of if. Am hoping that the community support that's happening now will stand people in good stead when things get nasty... and sadly, it's almost certain that will happen. Am not sure how our older two in particlular will cope, but we can only deal with that when it comes. Meanwhile, we're kind of enjoying the enforced "pause".

[Former-Member]

How are things going @Smc 

[Smc]

Yeah, haven't updated for a while @Former-Member...

Older Daughter was persuaded that it wasn't a good time to move house. Instead, I've encouraged both her and Older Son to try doing as much as possible for themselves so that she's got a more realistic idea of what she can and can't manage, and so that there's less pressure on him. So far, that seems to be working. Yay. And she's been managing to keep away from the hospital too, so far. Big double yay.

I haven't been getting as much done around the house as anticipted, but I think that's OK, the time out is probably much needed. We've done one trip out of town over the last month for essential shopping, and did an Easter treats drop off on the way to and from. Hubby did one other trip to take Older Daughter to an appointment, but we've been making that kind of thing really an exception to the rule too.

Mum seems to be doing well back at the aged care home, so that's good too.

We did have a while of high background stress levels, probably partially the whole pandemic thing, and partially that things were quiet enough with both Older Daughter and Mum's health, so our own "back burner" reactions and emotions had a chance to play catch-up. Oooh it would be nice, in a somewhat ironic way, if a major public health crisis actually provides us some crisis recovery time..????

[Determined]

@Smc  Thinking of you and family. 

[outlander]

@Smc 

[Former-Member]

Checking in @Smc 

[Smc]

Ta Peoples... @Former-Member @outlander @Determined.

Unfortunately, it hasn't been "no news is good news". She's had a few hosptial emergency visits over the past week or so, either over minor problems that didn't really justify emergency ward (and ambulance) such as a short lived bout of gastro, or over "symptoms" that sounded like they could be serious, but tests came back all clear.

And there's been a few SH incidents too that we hadn't heard about, happening once a week or so. She's trying to commit to not SH-ing, but it's a long standing pattern. It will likely take a long time and a few setbacks to break out of it... really hope she can.