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Something’s not right

New Contributor

Can’t make it stop - delusions

Hi all

I met my partner almost 2 years ago. In the very beginning it was beautiful, unique and we were both instantly connected. He was, and still is, undeniably, my soulmate. 
he had told me about his past relationships, every ex had cheated on him. As time went on he became withdrawn and kept questioning me on every little detail if my life. Then the innuendo started about me cheating on him. Months of torment left me feeling like i had no other option but to say i was. He kept saying to me its not the cheating that bothers him its the lies and all he wanted was the truth. But he never heard the truth. Obviously, this was a disastrous move on my part and made everything worse. 
somehow through all of this, we moved in together and the accusations got worse and worse. I was being accused of being with everybody, people i didn't know, people in my life, my ex partners. I began seeing a psychologist who said maybe he had delusional jealousy, which seemed to fit. These ongoing accusations turned into drug abuse and eventually physical assault. He made me leave our home. I moved  interstate to take a break from it all. We kept in contact and I believed he was getting help. He told me he knew i wouldnt ever cheat on him. I thought it was getting better. He was seeing a psychologist and taking meds. However he is always wanting to facetime to see where i am and always saying i am not where i say i am.
today, i packed up my car and took the step to go home, back to my soulmate. 
it took months of soul searching to realise that regardless of all this, im very much in love with this man, and when he is "good" we have the most amazing relationship. After time apart i felt ready to take the good with the bad. An hour into my drive he calls me and tells me im lying to him still and cheating. He has proof. He knows. He gets sent things. He calls me a narcissist and a gas lighter. He says don't come home there is no home for you here. So here i am back with my friend who took me in so long ago. Not home. Now hes calling and saying im the stitch up, everyone is against him, he knew i wouldnt come home and telling me i need help. I am well and truly stuck and certainly broken. The man I love has an illness that doesnt seem to be getting properly diagnosed. His reality, is real, according to him and i am the one who constantly cheats and lies. According to him he gets sent things that prove im cheating. He thinks hes part of  some program and i am a mental health professional and he's my client or its my business. Every part of me wants to go home. He is a wonderful wonderful man. But how do i help someone who doesnt think they need it? I do not know which way to turn.

he has been diagnosed with complex ptsd from childhood trauma but as yet nothing else. 
Some advice from others would be greatly appreciated. I do not know what to do or if i can even get him the help he needs, without sacrificing my own mental and physical wellbeing.

as i write this he has messaged me to say clearly he is insane as he's looked back through the things he has been sent and it's not what he first thought so he's going to the ward to commit himself. 
what do i do?


Re: Can’t make it stop - delusions

Hey @Jenny80 thanks so much for coming to our forums and reaching out and sharing your story with us. I am sorry to hear of the emotional rollercoaster you've been up against with your partner, it sounds like you love him very much which must make it even more difficult. It is so good he connected with a Psychologist, however sometimes it can take quite a bit of reframing and reconditioning our thoughts before long term change integrates. I think it is really good you've been prioritising yourself, and ensure your own emotional safety. Are you seeing a therapist at the moment? Did they have any guidance? As well as our wonderful forum, I would recommend having a webchat or call with the SANE Help Centre (open 10am-10pm weekdays). Let us know how you're travelling, our community is always here to listen Heart You are not alone.

For urgent assistance, call:


For 24-hour telephone crisis support, call Lifeline on 13 11 14

If life is in danger, call 000