Lived Experience Forum

[Livethroughthis]

Hi. Is there anyone else with body dismorphic disorder?  I hate it it's so embarrassing to cry over how ugly I am. I. Not a superficial person. I do t judge people by their looks, but I can't stand d my own face and body. But I'm 44 and ageing I did not prepare fir I. Such a way!! I haven't taken a photo for 4 years but I saw my crows feet now go down my cheeks and m disgusting enormous nose is even bigger!! It shocked me more than usual(tou know the normal shock when you get on with your day then you see your reflectio. And it's a sad shock to remember you look like this and your I. Public!!)  This is worse.  Like I know I'm ugly but I keep getting g uglier and I hate it.  It's hideous!! I don't want that to be me I don't want people to see it I do t want to see it. It's revolti g and it's going g to keep getting g worse... I know how pathetic it sou d's and I hate that I have to say to people it just adds to the embarrassment but I need to vent to someone e thing . Thankoyu sorry 

[Paperdaisy]

Hey @Livethroughthis That sounds super hard, I'm sorry you're going through that. You're very welcome to vent here but also wondering what supports you have? You shouldn't have to put up with feeling that way. Sitting with you 💝

[in_march]

I struggle with body dysmorphia too, and I can imagine how hard it was to reach out about this-- good on you for doing so. Your feelings are nothing at all to be embarrassed about, and it's no wonder you're upset when we get such terrible, constant messages from society about ageing and body image. You never have to apologise for venting or reaching out to anyone. Here with you 💛

[Asgard]

Hi @Livethroughthis 

I notice that you said that you don't judge people by their looks, so why are you judging yourself.  Be kind to yourself , we all grow old and those lines you see, well they are laughter lines, they mean that you have lived, you have experiences to share with others, you are you.

Forget about the mirror, its not you the person, that person is warm and funny.

So live your life and enjoy being you

🙂

[Jasper_123]

Hi @Livethroughthis ,I'm sorry to read about how much you are struggling with body dysmorphia. It's such a difficult condition to live with and when you add on ageing when we are blasted with celebrities and told how we are meant to look and what we should be doing. As said below - what supports do you have? I have a friend with body dysmorphia and it's hard balancing how to support her without enabling her. With my own issues I found it helpful to use self talk 

"I am worthy even if I'm ugly"
"ugliness is just a construct" 
"I have many other values in this world" 

Does any of this resonate with you?

[Alisse]

Hi @Livethroughthis 

I admire your honesty in sharing your struggles with body dysmorphic disorder; I too suffer, and the images posted on social media today make it very hard to not judge oneself and make comparisons.

You say you sound pathetic and are embarrassed. I think you are brave for being so open about how you feel about your body, and I believe that as a society, we need to be more accepting and supportive of people's body shapes and sizes, valuing ability over appearance.

Thank you for sharing your experience with what is a very real and distressing disorder. I know it is not just some superficial or ego-based issue, it can impact your self-esteem and limit your lifestyle. 

I'm 55 and the aging process has taken hold of my body, I have a full head of grey hair already, many wrinkles adorn my face and my hands look like those of an 80-year-old, (I love gardening), but I remind myself what my body has done, and continues to do, just so I can walk on this planet. 

I avoid triggers like mirrors or photos and try to practice taking care of my health, walking, and yoga while distracting myself from any negative thoughts about my body.

I have a history of eating disorders, which have significantly affected my body, lost teeth, osteoporosis, and reflux disease, as a result of my body dysmorphia. 

I try to practice being grateful that my body allows me to be here today so that I can share this journey with the people I love.  For me, taking care of my mental health is the key to managing my body dysmorphia. 

I hope this can help you be kind to yourself and treat your body gently.

Kindly Alisse