Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Sandor55]

The crisis period is over. Thankfully. I tried to be there for my family as much as possible during this time. Up at the hospital with my brother while he went through treatment and surgery recovery. Interstate with my grandparents as they were in and out of hospital and then for their funerals. Interstate for my cousin whose husband died. I wouldn’t have been anywhere else. It’s now a few months out of the acute period we had and I am feeling constantly let down by people close to me. I was strong for everyone when they needed me, I would never have not been that way. But I can’t help feeling like my whole suffering through it all was completely not considered. Everyone else’s needs had to come first back then.. I understand. I don’t feel like anyone was checking in on me.. nor do they now. The care and love I gave out (and willingly gave out, with no expectation of receiving anything back) has not been afforded to me.. even after the crisis is over. I I’m not great now that it’s all mostly over.. no one seems to notice or check in or make an effort to deliberately consider ME. I wish I had a ‘me’ to notice this and care for me the way I cared for others. I feel so disappointed and unconsidered. I’m sure it’s all part of the process recovering from I guess what was/is a form of ptsd but I feel very let down and sad to be not receiving the care and consideration from my loved ones. Constantly feeling disappointed and let down. Constantly feeling unheard and misunderstood. Constantly feeling like I wasn’t afforded the moment to not be okay and have anyone else hear me and hold space for this. It makes me very sad and angry. Anyone else been through something similar with thoughts on how to navigate? 

[tyme]

Hey @Sandor55 , that sounds tough. It sounds like you are doing what you can, only to be misunderstood. I hear how upsetting this can be. You certainly deserve better.

I hope you can continue to put boundaries in place so you feel more supported.

You are not alone.

[purplesneakers]

Hi @Sandor55 thank you for sharing. I can certainly relate to some of how you're feeling. I am always the person that everyone comes to when they need support but when I need some, I feel like noone is there for me. I have even lost a friend because of this; I realised I was the only one putting in the effort to check in on her but when I said I wasn't doing well, there was no response. I am okay with this as it's been better for me in the long run.

Do you have anyone that you would feel safe letting know that you would like some support? Sometimes people are so used to being on the receiving end that all it takes is a gentle nudge to remind them that you need support too.

Take care!