Far and Away

[Zoe7]

@Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Sans911 @eth 

Unfortunately I have no voice anymore. My thoughts and feelings should not be shared.

It is just a repeat of my whole life - silenced and made to feel like I do not matter and worse still that speaking up is frained upon. How does one come back from that - I have no idea. History repeating itself 

[Sans911]

Is this an ongoing communication from someone here @Zoe7 or someone else in your real life?

Here in the forums I will not frown upon you if you speak up. Your opinion, thoughts, feelings matter a great deal.

I understand what you say here is often restrained and controlled to a point, but you can still speak your mind.

I can hear how much pain you are in, and how much your mood is being affected. I wish I could take away that pain for you.

[eth]

s  @Zoe7   Sitting with you and holding your hand.  Sending much love xx

[Faith-and-Hope]

Oh no @Zoe7 ..... 😕😔

Is there an ongoing communication, like @Sans911 has said ?  Or was it what I said in my post ?   

Something I have learned with my in-law family is that with some people, speaking up has its limits.  Instead of hearing you they can become more and more hurtful and it increases the damage.  And there is no changing the person or people themselves ..... you sort of have to work your way around them like a road block.  That was what I was referring to.  You have definitely been heard, and I fully support what you have said, and how you are feeling about it.

[Former-Member]

Ohhhhh @Zoe7 ... It saddens me greatly to hear that. I completely understand your need to have a voice. To be heard and to have our thoughts and feelings validated is so important. When we feel we are being silenced or prevented from saying what we need to ... it feels like further betrayal to add to those we have already endured in our lives. To have a voice is a release we all need, and I am sorry you dont feel you have that here. Are you quite sure you cannot find a way through this Zoe? Is there no way you can come back from all this ?

I implore you to make absolutely certain that you have all the off line support you need to ensure your safety. I know how much you have relied upon the forums, and the lovely members who ARE the forums, for a long time now. I just do not want to think of you leaving here and coping entirely on your own. I know you have your professional supports (GP, pdoc, etc), but I think we all need a little more than that for daily exchange such as we get here. Perhaps you could try other online forums, but its here that you have strong connections, and it takes time to develop that.

@Sans911 - I think you will find that we do not have quite the amount of freedom to express ourselves here as you seem to think. In all reality ... we are not permitted to speak our mind. Restrictions are in place for a reason, but sometimes they can be extremely limiting and takes our voice away from us. I too wish I could take away Zoe's pain. I feel it, I've been there, I understand ... it hurts, and it will for a long time.

Like @eth, I am sitting with you Zoe ... holding your hand an allowing you to cry, yell or shout. Whatever feels right for you right now. You need a release.

As @Faith-and-Hope so rightly said ... you have been heard, even if we sometimes need to try to read between the lines, fill in the gaps. We hear what you are trying to say, and support you all the way. Although you may not be able to say exactly what you want to here, you can tell us how you are feeling about it all. We are permitted to express our feelings, perhaps just not what caused those feelings. Perhaps you can try that?

Dont leave us Zoe ... please ... at least not while you are this low. I think it would be to your detriment.

Sherry 🤗🌸

[Faith-and-Hope]

You said it so well @Former-Member .

@Zoe7 ..... here and sitting with you.   I know you feel a need to retreat, but please let us help you hold your ground.  You means so much to us, but first and foremost it needs to be about your welfare.

I am sorry you are still feeling so hurt, with clearly more you would like to say.

As @Former-Member has suggested, there is the ability here to write about how you are feeling, about how awful it feels to be misjudged according to the truth of who you are, and how you know yourself to be.  

You can say, and you have said, “Hey, I am not that person, and I am devastated that you thought I was .....” and even give an explanation of how you saw the situation misconstrued, which you have done too, with compassion and understanding, as is your way.

You have a group of forum friends doing a sit-in with you here ..... we believe in you @Zoe7  and would love to continue walking forward with you ....

[BlueBay]

❤️❤️🦋❤️❤️ love you my friend @Zoe7 

[Sans911]

@Former-Member, I was probably saying about the same thing as you, but in a different way. I probably get more telling off than many as I often say what I think in certain threads. If we can word our posts in such a way, which you, @Faith-and-Hope and @Shaz51 are so good at, then we can almost express what needs to be said.

[Shaz51]

I hope I have not said anything to upset you @Zoe7 

Thank you @Sans911 , but I find to hard also to write down what is in my brain and how to  write it  down on paper sometimes

hello @Faith-and-Hope , @BlueBay , @Former-Member , @eth 

[Faith-and-Hope]

And I definitely get my foot stuck in my mouth sometimes too .....

@Zoe7 @Shaz51 @Sans911 @BlueBay @Former-Member @eth