Lived Experience Forum

[Rosalyn]

Hi there,

I just started here so I don't expect anyone to interact with this, I just really needed a safe vent, but if you have a similar experience please share I am very new to this. I'm 18 and I just got diagnosed with a chronic heart disease and I really don't know what to do. The medical bills are piling in and the cheaper medication options don't work for me. I have no idea how I'm going to move forward as all my future plans have been thrown off by this. There is no cure and it just keeps getting more expensive to try and get under control. I'm still grappling with the fact that I may not live long enough to retire and I don't even know if I'll be able to start a family anymore. This has wrecked me and I have no idea what I'm doing anymore. A couple of months ago I could've told you exactly what I wanted and where I wanted to go but I don't know if I can even take on the career I wanted. I just wish I was normal again.

[tacocat]

Hi @Rosalyn 

So sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis. 

I'm going through a shakeup in my life too, that has me questioning everything; past, present and future. It's the sort of time when you are desperately grappling for answers and direction, when there are none.

I feel like using supports as needed and understanding that time will help smooth things out and provide some kind of a path, is the only broad answer we can take during these turbulent times.

Stay in contact with us on the forums and be kind to yourself.  

[8ppleTree]

Hi @Rosalyn 

Boom! That's a huge life event happening, and you're only 18! Gotta say, that is pretty heavy stuff. Existential stuff. It's not quite what you were hoping for in terms of the future, no doubt! 

It must be scary. It's also a hall-pass for living your best life. No mucking around. But it's heavy stuff. No easy answers. Losing control of our life, (or the control we think we have) is very scary. Having to come up with a plan B, or C, is frustrating. It's where we can shine though, after a lot of existential yelling at the universe. Having a serious medical condition thrown in the mix is a lot to manage.

Grief is a huge factor. Going through all the stages of loss, ie anger, ambivalence, sadness, etc. and processing it can take some time. Hope you have some supports in place to get through this time of adjustment?  Have you spoken to anyone about grief or chronic illness counselling? Do you have family/friends support?  

Hope to hear from you again, keep reaching out 💜