Not sure where to post this so here will have to do. Yesterday was a very messy day. I think I hit meltdown point and found it all a bit much right from the start of the day. I am telling myself that while things are tricky, I'm still getting up and still getting on with it all, and maybe an off day here and there is OK/pretty normal. I don't know how I would have coped 12 or even 6 months ago but I think I'm dealing with things much better than I would have back then.
I read your post @Mazarita and want to say a huge thank you for your support and gentle suggestions and encouragement. And @Teej a big thank you to you also for your post in a nesty corner. I really appreciate that you both took the time to respond to my early morning venty spill with the kindness and understanding you've given much of. I had every intention of replying last night but, as has been the case often over the last wonky weeks, my plan didn't work out.
Yesterday afternoon surgery was booked for tomorrow for parent. It's a risky one and is incredibly scary for them and for all of us who love them, and all the emotions seemed to pour out for everyone at different times during the day. Other parent found it tough and the kids had trouble with it also. My muddled one in particular really struggled last night asking questions that I didn't know how to answer. I'm sure this jumbled time is playing in to their increasing difficulties at the moment. Rain pour stuff 😔
Along with a few others who have the same idea, I'm going in to the hospital today to have some time with them. 'Just in case' is running through my head a lot and I'm very heavy hearted and sad at the thought of it, and worried that it is going to be a challenge to keep feelings in check. The kids want to visit and unwell one wants to see them so I'll go back again when they finish school. I imagine that trip is going to be tough also. Tomorrow I will be with well one in whatever way I can that they want while we wait. This has been so hard for them and taken a huge toll on them. They both look so much older than they did a couple of months ago but hopefully everything will go smoothly tomorrow they can return home to enjoy the time that is left. That's the plan anyway and they're in the right hands to make that happen. There isn't an alternative to this if they want a chance at some time and they're prepared now for whatever happens.
So I'm checking here before heading out for a day that is probably going to suck no matter how well it goes. Big thank you for the listening eyes and the landing space that has been so valuable and that I appreciate so much.
