Lived Experience Forum

[Stole]

I've never used this before frankly I'm a little scared so I'll try

My father hasn't really ever supported me being trans he's never believed in doctors my mother and father are separated I use to see my dad on the weekends and suddenly he decided to move to the country side to start a brewery ik he's never been supportive heck he was never really there we would barley talk but for some reason I craved his validation and the worst part is he got a dog, he neglects it just like me and he has the audacity to talk to me about how bad it is and how I should care more but I just can't help but get angry

Idk if I'm a bad person or reasonable you tell  me.

[Paul22]

No, it doesn't sound like you're a bad person at all, everyone wants and needs the love and understanding every parent should have for their child.

Unfortunately we're all flawed, even parents.

The fact that you ask if you're a bad person shows you aren't.

I wish you all the best

[Rylee13]

Hi,

Thank you for sharing what you are going through right now. There is nothing wrong with you- you are perfect the way you are and deserve to be loved, cherished and unconditionally accepted for the incredibly beautiful, creative and thoughtful human that you are. Your father’s actions, behaviours and beliefs have nothing to do with you- and everything to do with him. My father completely rejected me and neglected me throughout my entire life. I used to crave validation and affection from older males, as it always seemed to fill the empty void and dark hole the abandonment had left me with. I always questioned why I wasn’t good enough in his eyes, what was it about me that he hated? But I have come to realise, that he has his own problems, and as he chooses not to reach out for help to be the father I need, I can only live my life and love myself enough to heal the wounds he created. You deserve that too. Keep being yourself, and know that sometimes, we just cannot change how others see us, or their beliefs or values… we can only change ourselves and become who we were always meant to be. You are brave and worth all the time and love in this world. One day I hope your father realises this but also hope you see how strong and amazing you are, just because you are being you.

[MermaidHair]

Hey there @Stole,

I'm sorry to hear your father hasn't supported you in being who you are. It's not at all unusual to crave acceptance and validation from our parents and sometimes unfortunately (with toxic parents), the less they give it, the more we yearn for it.

Bad people don't often spend much time reflecting and wondering if they could be wrong, so it sounds like you're all good to me 😊

[Jasper_123]

Hi @Stole , I'm sorry to hear about your relationship to your Father (and the way he's treating his dog!) you are absolutely worth of unconditional love and support in general but coming out as transgender is a hugely corougeous act! How are you going with it outside of your Father?