Lived Experience Forum

[cloudcore]

Hi @mishyanne73 , thank you for sharing your experience, it sounds really awful feeling alienated amongst your friends and their children. I'm sorry to hear of the pain it causes you You make a great point about people often unintentionally making others feel invisible, I've found that when I've struggled I can become quite self-focused and forget that there are those around me that need support/company too. I'm wondering what self affirmations have helped you? 

[cloudcore]

Thank you for your thoughtful responses @BPDSurvivor ! Communities are so important for helping with feelings of loneliness associated with mental health struggles. For myself, finding just one other person who shared my experience helped so much.  What other communities have you tapped into apart from the SANE forums?

@MDT , I've felt some feelings of loneliness coming out of lockdown too, for me it felt like everyone around me had changed in that time locked away and I was entering a new world with people I didn't recognise. Part of that was true, people did change a little (some more anxious, others more driven) but I realised that for the most part everyone remained themselves. Have you felt like people around you changed after lockdown?

[MDT]

Yes @cloudcore
I think it feels like I haven't seen anyone and nothing has happened since.
Like I've lost friends
It isn't nice.
But then also before lockdown some people I didn't talk with either...
Who knows..

[cloudcore]

Feeling like we're losing friends is awful @MDT , I hear you on that. What do these friendships mean to you? Are they friends from highschool?

[MDT]

No actually one of my closest mates is from high school @cloudcore

But yeah idk it seems like if you are not into the same stuff or at the same stage in life as them then they aren't interested in speaking.

[cloudcore]

It's really lovely to hear that you have maintained that friendship, it's great to have someone who has been there through everything @MDT! I have definitely noticed that when my interests change, my friendships generally do too, but I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing for me. Sometimes we outgrow people, and we find others who suit us better  

What kind of interests do you have?

[mishyanne73]

Hi cloudcare,

Thanks so much, it's all good. I'm an old hat @ this. I think that's something that comes with time is the resilience to not let it bother you.

I've used many affirmations in the past. My most important was after leaving the psych ward the last time. I was at the doorstep, on my own waiting for a cab to take me home. At that point I realised I no longer had my keys. That was Ok, I slept on my porch in Mont Albert and managed to get in the next day.

I made a promise to myself that day that on every single day when I woke up I would look up at the sky and remind myself that it was a really beautiful day that God had created for us. That I would make the most of the day... fairly simple but much different after being locked in one of those places.

[mishyanne73]

Thank You

Great post!

[Former-Member]

Loneliness is a big problem for me. It affects me every day.
Q 1) Loneliness gives me a whole mixture of emotions. When I need time to myself, loneliness doesn't affect me so bad because at least I'm alone and am doing something that makes me feel good at the time, like reading a book or listening to Netflix. At other times, loneliness makes me feel suicidal and depressed. As I get older, I get worse with loneliness and my mental health is slowly deteriorating.
Q 2) Loneliness most of the time, makes me feel down and out, and hard-done-by. I know the world doesn't owe me anything, but I still feel as though I'm not getting enough support or social interactions. On the other hand, this makes me more resentful, so I don't want to have any social interactions at all. This creates a vicious cycle for me and I feel really fatigued, exhausted, and sometimes physically unwell, not just nauseous but just really unwell in general. This causes my suicidal ideation to get worse. I have good and bad days with suicidal ideation. Sadly, talk therapy is not effective for me. A psychology is really good emotional support and a non-threatening sounding-board for me, but my mental health has not improved with therapy from a psychologist. I need medication.
Q 3) Loneliness affects me daily, regardless of the time of year. Some days are worse than others.
Q 4) Besides medications, a psychologist is good emotional support for me. I feel bad that I have failed all psychologists so far, but this is not their fault. My MI is intractible, it can't be cured and it won't go away no matter how well I try to manage it. So I deal with loneliness in ways which most of the time, stops my mental health problems from deteriorating. Even then I sometimes have to go to the hospital for support. When I'm not hospitalised, I manage my lonliness by reading, mindfulness exercises, physical exercise, eating some junk food but mostly healthy food, drinking plenty of water, occasional supliment use (please consult your health professional before use of any herbal or vitamin supliments), sleep (when possible), music, and self-care. This massive list of options as well as occasional social activities, makes loneliness feel less miserable, and I suppose I'd be hospitalised a lot more often if it wasn't for this big list of strategies.

[Lila3]

Loneliness is something I deal with constantly. I've never felt a true sense of belonging.

A big part of my diagnosis has involved traumatic experiences, I have both ptsd & BPD.

I've grown up with poor parents who are both mentally ill. My father is indigenous and mum is white. This makes it hard to fit in with 'mainstream' folk. Friends seem to have lives & experiences that are world's apart from my own. Of course I am happy for these people but i often can't relate, deepening my sense of isolation.