Fragile

[Faith-and-Hope]

@Appleblossom 🌸

[outlander]

@Appleblossom 

[Maggie]

@Appleblossom  ❤️❤️❤️🌷🌷🌷🌷

[outlander]

@Appleblossom ❤❤

[Appleblossom]

[Teej]

Hi @Appleblossom 

ive been pretty absent from the forum in the last month ish and just catching up here. How are you going? Has your week been ok? I’d love a catch up with how you are. 💜🤗

[Maggie]

100% @Appleblossom  💜💕💜💕💜

[Appleblossom]

Thank you @Maggie @outlander 

@Teej 

Hugs Bella

Lovely to hear from you.

I have been lower profile on the forums too.

I noticed you are having some calm time alone at home.  That can be such a blessing if it is not too much.

My week.  Hhhhmmm. Atm I am home alone and taking it easy with old cat and will go to Bunnings today for house reno research.

I had 2 separate prn events this week due to flare ups

 I cancelled my weekend singing at the tulips.   I had 2 zoo days and joined the Climate strike in Melbourne/Naarm.  So a flushed healthy feeling of wholesome tiredness and lots of good people interactions.

The ist prn event was still not enough meds to stop me crying in choir rehearsal on Tuesday, but conductor is reasonable, so I may continue that to concert in October.

I am not yet allowed to be involved with my grandbub.  We just have to CONTINUE to get through all this.  SO I get triggered too, but have a lot of restraint.  I did tell him to "go" a couple of times in the height of feeling.  Its better they learn to stand own 2 feet than get toxic with their mothers.

Is that TMI?  I know you get complexities of dealing with adult sons.  

He has arranged to go to his gp with me later in the week so he is taking getting a MH care team responsibly.  SO things are settled again and I will catch up with the group from this weekend in November, so now major harm done to my music commitments.

[outlander]

@Appleblossom 

[Appleblossom]

First meet and greet with NDIS peer support ... was a no show and a no cancellation ... no info til I made the call to provider ... told she was going to call me to let me know it has been rescheduled... I asked "if this was normal" ... first time for me to ask such a q ... hmmmm.  There are a lot of tings going through my head as I ask q ... is this normal ... too much ... head exploding ...

I dont need to be told that they are trying to get care for everybody ... as an excuse that they did not even inform me ....gripe over

We will see how it is tomorrow ... if she shows and if she is a match ...

Not a good start

Feelings ...

Nauseous .... rushes to the head ... funny vision effects .... kinda like tripping ... so late in life so prob not a hallucination .... ha ha

those feelings were around today as I was waiting ... and doing odd jobs ... so used to waiting .... 

eating early din ... made 3 lil meals ... then off to doco to learn about a massacre ... I guess that is a way of thinking about the truth about what happened to my family ... 

I am grateful for any support I have received on the forums ... but it took a very long time for any body to be able to relate to my experiences or pain .... still does ... good thing is I received an email from a lady I like in choir ... she goes with rough and tumble debate ... and when I apologised for being assertive she was fine taking it on the chin

... FIrst time in my life ... feeling of even give and take in female friendship/relationship 

another lady ... was friendly but seemed to take on energy and strength and praise when I was crying the other week ... she also doubted me when I said I was not good at being critical ... sick of being doubted ... and having to strain to be heard ... it is what it is.