Lived Experience Forum

[Emelia8]

@Anastasia @NatureLover 🌷🌻💞

[NatureLover]

Hello my dear friend, thank you for all your news, I really appreciate it when you are struggling to have any energy for anyone 

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@Anastasia wrote:

I think the turbulence is just "starting" here. I've got my seat belt on so to speak.

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Oh my gosh...just starting...OMG. 😮

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@Anastasia wrote:

She really listened, long story but today I start a medication to help me cope.

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I am so thankful for this. Well done for recognising that you're not well and taking steps. I'm glad you've found such a sympathetic doctor. The only problem might be getting in to see her when you want, if she's so popular? It seems to be the case here. But I'm really glad you've found her. I'm assuming you are having the further tests over the next 3 weeks, before going back to her? And by then your med should have kicked in... 👍

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@Anastasia wrote:

He can't be by himself...his words last night 😔 

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OMG 😞
I hope the toxic person allows him to be there. Will you have to explain why he's there? Sending wishes that it goes OK...

Yes, we have sun and 31C...I think the SAD is starting to ease but am not sure... Work went well yesterday, it usually does...I'm so fortunate, I realise that, especially when I consider your workplace! 😞

The family dramas are easing, thankfully...still ongoing but much less pain for all concerned. You don't need to worry where I'm at, it's much the same...but I will try and write my news...no worry about replying. 

Yesterday I bought some flowers and wrote a thank you card and took it in to my local library. They don't realise how much they save my sanity with their kind chats, welcome and books. They even gave me a voucher last week for coffee at one of the local cafes, and did the same last year during lockdown, dropping it at my letterbox! They are an amazing support for the community. You should have seen their faces at the flowers...apparently they are all having a hard time with angry people at the door at the moment...the library rules state they have to check people's vaccination status at the door. I hope that they realise all the good they do each day for people. 

My hands were doing well, almost healed, but I kind of ruined it again. But I'm determined to heal up my hands and lower arms...yesterday I wore a T-shirt to go out, and it took me 5 minutes to cover up my hand /arm sores with cover-up makeup. I'm sick of doing that! So that's good, it will help me hopefully. Plus, these days are better than they used to be as I used to always wear long sleeved shirts even on the hottest days. These days I'm more confident and can wear T-shirts (with makeup). 🙂

I am sad that it's not looking like you'll get to go away with your best friend 😞

Thanks for the healthy gifts, sun and 

Sending wishes that your boy's mood improves daily...and that you can cope with the huge amount you have on your plate. Also for your Dad. Also for your sleep. 
Much 💚 and hugs.

@Anastasia 

[Rosemary4]

Yes @NatureLover, bit of a hoarder / collector (though not formally diagnosed). Hope it's ok to still be here? Can't walk past annop shop, I have a tiny home and Housework is sooooo boring 😕
You said: "arms...yesterday I wore a T-shirt to go out, and it took me 5 minutes to cover up my hand /arm sores with cover-up makeup. I'm sick of doing that!"
Did you mean scars? Was it accident or self harm? I have self harm scars on forearms that are embarrassing, I hide it or wear sleeves. Love winter

[NatureLover]

Hi @Rosemary4 , of course it's OK to be on this thread! I would love to talk to you about the hoarding!

My sores and scars are from something called Excoriation Disorder, which I've had since a baby. It's like an anxiety thing that stems in my case from an abusive, super-critical parent. It did turn into deliberate self harm during my 3-year nervous breakdown, but it's not usually self harm. 

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@Rosemary4 wrote:
I have self harm scars on forearms that are embarrassing, I hide it or wear sleeves. Love winter

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I can relate! I used to wear long sleeves everywhere. The problem is I don't like wearing long clothes, I prefer wearing as little as possible. 

Nice to talk to you!

[Anastasia]

Hi beautiful @NatureLover 

Thank you for this...

"I am so thankful for this. Well done for recognising that you're not well and taking steps. I'm glad you've found such a sympathetic doctor. "

My boy didn't come with me to work. My bf took him with him for the day 🙏

Best news...

"Yes, we have sun and 31C...I think the SAD is starting to ease but am not sure... Work went well yesterday, it usually does...I'm so fortunate, I realise that, especially when I consider your workplace! "

You are so kind giving flowers to the librarians, it would have made their day. 

What a lovely gesture too from them for your coffee vouchers, I love that you have that connection with them 💞

Go you...✔️🎉 I know you can do it. 

"But I'm determined to heal up my hands and lower arms...yesterday I wore a T-shirt to go out, and it took me 5 minutes to cover up my hand /arm sores with cover-up makeup. I'm sick of doing that! So that's good, it will help me hopefully. Plus, these days are better than they used to be as I used to always wear long sleeved shirts even on the hottest days. These days I'm more confident and can wear T-shirts (with makeup)."

I wanted to let you know that I'm going away tomorrow to visit my friend. 

I've organised my boys support worker all day tomorrow as well as support for the weekend. 

So I'll head away mid morning. Excited to see her and have a small rest. I'll be home Sunday. 

Sending you love and hoping tomorrow at work is kind to you and there's sun over the weekend for you to enjoy. 

Love ya loads NL x

[NatureLover]

Hi dear @Anastasia ...I know you're away but wanted to reply anyway. 

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@Anastasia wrote:

I wanted to let you know that I'm going away tomorrow to visit my friend. ...

Excited to see her and have a small rest.

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I'm excited too! A rest...how fantastic for you 🙂❤

I've got no internet on my computer due to a storm last night...technician coming on Monday. Those sort of things throw me...I find it awkward to do SANE and other things on my phone. But am staying positive. 

Thanks for your kind words...I'll keep this short as on my phone. Sending you lots of 💚 right back...hoping you feel restored as much as possible by your time away. ❤

[NatureLover]

Hi @Rosemary4 , I have a tiny home too, and usually narrow pathways through the stuff on the floor...is yours the same? 

[Rosemary4]

@NatureLover, I don't even have a hallway unfortunately, but I do have a lockable garage, Every time I bring up a couple of boxes or bags to sort I have a meltdown cause there's just no room and it's near impossible to decide what to toss. When I've lived in homes with halls, I've lined them with bookshelves. I have one bookshelf here, full! and X19 boxes of books to sort in the garage 😟 sometimes I think it would be easier to light a match 😞 Maybe it's an infectious STD as I was never like this until after i married (whrn I was 40 and which only lasted 5yrs), his 5bay shed & DOIBLE Garage wasn't enough room for him :face_with_rolling_eyes: I think it's definately a uncontrollable MH disorders as he was very disorganised. I've got worse with all this since a major loss. Oh well, it's ok if nobody sees it i guess, and if a paramedic can find us in an emergency LOL I'm disappointed I can't use my keyboard, guitar, and sewing without a shovel 😢

[NatureLover]

Wow, you love books, @Rosemary4 ! 

I'm sorry that this started for you during your marriage. And you're right - hoarding often happens after a major loss 😥

It's good you don't have narrow pathways in your home, and that most of your 'stuff' is in the garage. Although on the other hand, I suppose it's out of sight, out of mind, and there's no urgency to tidy /dispose of it...

I have quite a bit of stuff in my neighbour's shed unfortunately. I need to work on it.

I can really relate when you said "near impossible to decide what to toss" 😥

So.it sounds like your house is not too cluttered?

[NatureLover]

Dear friend, thinking of you, hoping you're able to have a relaxing time. @Anastasia 

I remember you said your best friend's not well...I hope you're able to share support. 

I'm hopeful my SAD's starting to shift...I haven't been back to bed after breakfast for 2 days now, 3 if you count today, although the NBN technician's coming this morning so I couldn't anyway. They rang yesterday and changed the day from Monday to today, which I'm thankful for. I hope he doesn't have to come inside and touch anything, but can fix the problem at the street or in the pit. 

Two more whole days for you at your best friend's! That makes me happy. 🙂

Much 💚

(Am just leaving this message for you for whenever you read it, later or Monday or whenever)