Hi and good morning @Emelia8 @Anastasia @Appleblossom @greenpea @Teej @Faith-and-Hope thanks all for your kind wishes. Had a couple of days offline - don't even know what I've been doing most of the time. Did have psychologist appointment which was very validating on wednesday and did cook for the clan last night. Also joined in a zoom with the disability alliance that was fun, just music chosen by one of the members - we take it in turns on a thursday. And did another zoom last night to celebrate the 2nd birthday of a locally based poetry group - I was first up on the open mic readings and read a poem I've written this week. That was scary and good at the same time. So it sounds like I've been busy but that's only a few hours out of 2 days and nights. Very little motivation to do much and lots of hours watching telly.
@Teej No I don't have my own bathroom and as far as I know I have no NDIS funds for respite. Do you use NDIS funds for it? If so do you know what category it's in and what line item no. it is in the price guide? If I knew them I could ask my plan manager and coordinator of supports about it. It sounds like something I'd really like to do but not sure if it would even be possible due to covid restrictions (I'm in the Hunter region).
@greenpea As far as I know there are no problems in bro's marriage other than the usual negotiating between 2 independent people. They are both what I'd say is more emotionally intelligent and mature than I am (my psychologist says traumatic events like I've been through can stunt our emotional development) and they also do communication training at least a couple of times a year with the intentional community they are part of (the farm I visit sometimes). I do know they have lots of other pressures going on atm. Including the alcoholic brother of sil, who now lives in Perth, having been emergency hospitalized again because of his drinking - sil's mum lives in the 2nd house they own (next door) and it's a huge burden on her which they try to ease. Communicating with hospital etc. Also my bro is in a new fulltime job and still has 2 other part time jobs and is comited to supporting me here and our mum in Bris; sil works part time and is also a professional artist and spends as much time at her studio as she can. Plus maintenance and financing 2 properties in town. And I'm sure there's more that I don't hear the details of. Having said all that, it's still not fair the way my brother vents - psych says he is projecting onto me.
As much as I agree with a lot about the discussion of how a lot of men are not able to deal with strong feelings in a healthy way, I know my brother has done a lot of work on himself and communication skills and emotional management over the years. And I believe there are some good men out there who deal with things maturely and in a healthy way. I just don't seem to end up with men like that in my life. It's clear that there are some underlying programs in both myself and bro that stem from the way we were parented, the behavioural models we learned from as children and roles we fell into as a result.
Ok rant over. I'm rambling, but it's helpful to write about it here and I very much appreciate your listening eyes (as someone here once said).
Hi also to @Shaz51 @Maggie @CheerBear @Zoe7 @Angels333 thanks for the tags and @Mazarita @Adge @TAB @MDT @outlander @Bezak482 @Judi9877 @Exoplanet @Snowie @Sans911 @BlueBay @NatureLover @Blep @BPDSurvivor @Molliex @Owlunar just coz I want to say hi and haven't seen much of you lately (mostly coz I just haven't been here).
I hope to be around more over the weekend. I'll be home alone with the others up at the farm and look forward to the freedom I anticipate feeling. Heading out with a support worker for a couple of hours this afternoon, which I'm greatly looking forward to. Wasn't able to see either of them the last 10 days or so as both of them had to get tested - negative result for both thank goodness. But 1 of them still can't do in person support as her grandchildren who live with her all have colds again.
Hope today goes gently for you all and has some highlights in it. Stay safe and stay kind everyone. I care. xoxo
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