Topic Wednesday // Managing Conflict // 26 April, 7 - 9pm AEST

[Former-Member]

Hi @Anony18, thanks for stopping by

It is so hard when your partner is isolating you and of course this behaviour leaves you feeling confused as well as many other things.

it sounds as though it is possible that his family life/upbringing has shaped his commiuncation style to a degree and depending on his mental health as well he may be withdrawing socially due to this in addition to the way he handles conflict. I appreciate that this puts you in a difficult position. I can hear that you are respecting his need for some space and it think it becomes confusing to know how much time is enough time for him to process what is happening for him.

What I've taken from what you have said is that you are wanting to talk to him about his communication style as this way of communicating or "shutting" you out so to speak is perhaps not working well for you. There is nothing specifically that you can do or say that will make him talk as such, as we can only control our own behaviour. However, it would be worthwhile if and when you can, to try and set up a time where you are both able to calmly discuss the way him isolating you makes you feel and what your needs and expectations around this are. It is important to give him the space to be able to express his thoughts and feelings on this and see if you can both come to an agree together about how you can do this in a different way where you both get your needs meet. Be this your need to not be isolated in this and his need for space or any other needs you can identify.

Something that may be helpful here is the blog I wrote on conflict management, which you can find here.

I hope this helps

[Former-Member]

I understand that the principles I use are not necessarily that of the person I may not agree with.

[Former-Member]

Yes @Former-Member and @Shaz51 you both raise some really good strategies here.

So just to sum up our discussion for tonight, some of the skills/strategies we have spoken about that can be helpful in managing conflict are:

• Discussing one issue at a time
• Being specific about the issue
• Knowing when to take a break from the discussion and returning to it at a later time
• Using assertive communication skills
• Validate the other person's feelings and experience
• Look after yourself-both during the conflict and after as necessary

Thank you @Shaz51, @Former-Member, @Hank, @Anony18, @Kurra, @Mazarita, and @soul for joining me tonight. I hope tonight has been a helpful discussion and there is something that you can take away from the night.

Good night everyone

[Kurra]

Thanks @Former-Member. Sorry I haven't been able to contribute more tonight. 🎶

[Former-Member]

No problem at all @Kurra, thanks for joining me